Me and My Crazy Outfits: Uniqueness, Beauty, and Confidence

Yesterday was my first day of classes of my Sophomore year at college. As any typical girl would do I put a lot of thought into that “first day” outfit. I wish I took a picture (I am so bad at this blogging thing, I know) but I wore a nautical-ish white and navy striped tank that had a bow embellishment in the same material, a purple, blue, black, and white painted floral ruffly mini skirt, and black flats. As I have said before I completely believe in dressing for success and this outfit definitely made me feel ready to take on the world, or at least Intro to Marketing. This outfit was not something any normal college student would put on, and in my own opinion it could have easily been an fashion don’t but I managed to do it right. My friends gave me compliments on my outfit and what really struck me was something one of them said: “I would never be able to pull that off, I’d feel too self-conscious.”

And I thought, why would someone feel that way? For my whole life, my thoughts have never been on the same wavelength as my peers. I don’t believe I ever went through a bratty teenage phase or struggled with peer pressure. I actually go out of my way to go against peer pressure to prove my point at times. Maybe I’m wired wrong, but if I am I think it’s for the better. During the years when teens put their best effort to be accepted and conform to those “popular” kids, I did my best to distinguish myself from the rest and do everything my way. I told my relatives that I rewired my brain to take insults as compliments and to this day I feel the same way. So when my friend said that, I had a hard time relating.

I think this has something to do with me being Asian American. When you biologically look different than everyone else, you know there is no way that you could ever mirror that “ideal” image of “popularity” and “coolness.” So I went the complete opposite way. But now I find myself sometimes surrounded my Chinese international/exchange students and want to separate myself from them, too.

But because I looked different, I knew I could be different. You could call it a trigger. What every kid needs to learn at an early age is that they are their own person (regardless of physical appearance or background), free to make whatever decisions they want, as long as they are taught good morals and follow the law, I guess. Do not be afraid of being different; embrace it. A lot of my peers struggle with acceptance and conformity and I’m always left thinking, why would you want to be the same as everyone else?

Beauty is not a standard, it’s a feeling. And confidence comes from that feeling. If you feel confident, you feel beautiful and if you feel beautiful, you feel confident. That’s the way I’ve always thought. And that’s why I can pull off crazy outfits, I guess.

Dorm Room Decor

I should probably be doing a little cleaning but I’d rather blog about unpacking/cleaning than actually do it.

Last Wednesday after a full day of outside band rehearsal, I got to move into my permanent dorm for the year. It was so fantastic carrying my stuff up to the fourth floor without an elevator…

Well once my roommate and I both got our stuff in our room it looked like this. (p.s. she’s also in band)

A hot mess.

And after a little rearranging it looked like this.

The left side is mine. I’m loving all the closet space I have. You can see my yarn stash up top. I gotta bring my yarn to college.

I put my books on the window sill which overlooks The Green, which is probably the prettiest part of campus.

And my favorite part, my bulletin boards at work!

And my fangirl wall which includes my new Super Junior poster, a photo I got signed by The Click Five way back in 2007, a photo of Kyle Patrick I got in my KP mystery box, photos of me and Kyle from 2010, and me and Jesse Ruben from this summer, and me and my sister infront of Mayan ruins. I have a feeling more pictures are going up as the year goes along.

Tomorrow is the start of classes! I have Intro to Marketing and Chinese Literature in Translation. Hope this year is as great as I’m expecting!

Boot Camp? I thought I was at Band Camp.

I’m back early (haha 10pm is early) from the last full day of UDMB band camp. Although I’m not a rookie, it’s still my first time completing the full week, since last year was cut short thanks to a hurricane named Irene.

The entire band has been on its feet for probably 10 out of the 15 hours we’re working. We’re out when it’s a little chilly in the morning as well as the hottest parts of the day. We’re running on 5 hours of sleep each night and after 5 days of this same routine we’re a little delirious.

It’s funny how just 2 weeks ago I was me and my friends couldn’t wait until the start of band camp and after 2 days of being here we already hated it and wanted to leave. It’s a love-hate relationship, but after this week of hell, we all love it.

But all in all, this season is looking like a good one. As I’ve written before it’s an awesome show with awesome music. I’m looking forward to a great semester. For now, off to shower!

Mid- Band Camp Update

I’ve only been here two days and it feels like forever. Band camp has been nothing but non-stop drill, reps, and music rehearsals but it’s been great. My legs and feet are basically dead. I don’t really want to move off my bed.

Our show this year is looking pretty awesome so far, drill-wise and music-wise. I can’t wait to see a finished result because at the rate we’re going it’s going to be one heck of a half-time show. It’ll be such a shame if the student section is lame and decides to leave the football game at half-time.

Despite all the pain I’m in, I love being able to see my friends from band and catch up with them. I’ve also met some new members and they’re awesome too. This is what I love about band. It brings people together, no matter which state you’re from, whether you’ve marched before, or what year you’re in.

And a thought struck me today while running through a rep. Marching band is truly an amazing activity. Here was a group of over 300 people, all moving at the same time in more or less the same fashion, and playing music, without anything disastrous happening. Maybe I’m not good at conveying that thought through words but try taking a random group of 300 strangers and get them to do the same thing.

If you think marching band is a simple activity you’ve got it all wrong. There is so much running through a marching band member’s mind at one time. I’ve got to hit this line. I’ve got to make my steps bigger. I’ve got to step with my left foot. I’ve got to keep perfect posture. I’ve got to get this rhythm right. I’ve got to play these accidentals. I’ve got to play it louder. I’ve got to keep my eyes on the drum major. I’ve got to keep my eyes on everyone around me. I’ve got to consciously not listen to what is being played on the other side of the field. I’ve got to face the front of the field while marching to the sides. And so much more.

Yeah, so I just wanted to write that down just for a record that I actually had some sort of higher philosophical thought about marching band…

Andddd all the girls on our floor just got serenaded by the music fraternity. I don’t really know what to write now so…

Tomorrow I’m moving to my permanent housing for the year. I’m super excited. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to go back to school this much.