Yesterday was my first day of classes of my Sophomore year at college. As any typical girl would do I put a lot of thought into that “first day” outfit. I wish I took a picture (I am so bad at this blogging thing, I know) but I wore a nautical-ish white and navy striped tank that had a bow embellishment in the same material, a purple, blue, black, and white painted floral ruffly mini skirt, and black flats. As I have said before I completely believe in dressing for success and this outfit definitely made me feel ready to take on the world, or at least Intro to Marketing. This outfit was not something any normal college student would put on, and in my own opinion it could have easily been an fashion don’t but I managed to do it right. My friends gave me compliments on my outfit and what really struck me was something one of them said: “I would never be able to pull that off, I’d feel too self-conscious.”
And I thought, why would someone feel that way? For my whole life, my thoughts have never been on the same wavelength as my peers. I don’t believe I ever went through a bratty teenage phase or struggled with peer pressure. I actually go out of my way to go against peer pressure to prove my point at times. Maybe I’m wired wrong, but if I am I think it’s for the better. During the years when teens put their best effort to be accepted and conform to those “popular” kids, I did my best to distinguish myself from the rest and do everything my way. I told my relatives that I rewired my brain to take insults as compliments and to this day I feel the same way. So when my friend said that, I had a hard time relating.
I think this has something to do with me being Asian American. When you biologically look different than everyone else, you know there is no way that you could ever mirror that “ideal” image of “popularity” and “coolness.” So I went the complete opposite way. But now I find myself sometimes surrounded my Chinese international/exchange students and want to separate myself from them, too.
But because I looked different, I knew I could be different. You could call it a trigger. What every kid needs to learn at an early age is that they are their own person (regardless of physical appearance or background), free to make whatever decisions they want, as long as they are taught good morals and follow the law, I guess. Do not be afraid of being different; embrace it. A lot of my peers struggle with acceptance and conformity and I’m always left thinking, why would you want to be the same as everyone else?
Beauty is not a standard, it’s a feeling. And confidence comes from that feeling. If you feel confident, you feel beautiful and if you feel beautiful, you feel confident. That’s the way I’ve always thought. And that’s why I can pull off crazy outfits, I guess.